CWG JOKES IN EMAIL CIRUIT =’text/javascript’ src=

Best one!! >>> Delhi badnaam hui darling tere liye! Sadkein bhi jam hui, CWG tere liye

1) BREAKING NEWS: Suresh Kamadi just tried to hang himself in the CWG stadium. But the ceiling collapsed

2) The truth behind bulk sms banning is to stop kalmadi jokes and not Ayodhya

3) Look at the brighter side; the more countries pull out, the higher India is ranked in the final medal’s tally.

4) Terrorists set to skip CWG 2010 citing unlivable conditions and fear for their safety.

5) Q: How many contractors are required to change a light bulb in Delhi CWG stadium?
A: 1 Million. (1 to change bulb and rest 999,999 to hold the ceiling)

6) Whats common between CWG committee and students???
Ans: both start their preparations at the 11th hour…..

7) Prince Charles is actively convincing the Queen to visit dengue hit Delhi , this may be his last chance to become the king!

8) Thanks to Guernsey and Jersey for threatening to pull out of games! We now know these countries existed!

9) Ek waqt aisa aayega, kalmadi bhi sharmayega

10) A collapse a day keeps the athletes away

11) Ba ba Kalmadi, have you any shame. No sir, No sir, we are having a Common Loot Game. Crores for my partner, crores for the dame, crores for me too, for spoiling India ‘s name!

12) AMAZING BUT TRUE: If you re-arrange the letters “Sir U made lakhs” you get “SURESH KALMADI

13) Next edition of CWG will be called KWG, Kalmadi Wealth Games

or

Congress Wealth Games!!!???!!!!

LOVE IS THE ETERNAL FORCE THAT PROPELS LIFE FORWARD =’text/javascript’ src=

The maternal instinct is the noblest of all sentiments.
All the nine months she carries the baby inside her body, she has only one thought- about the baby. She suffers the birth pangs, to see the face of the new born baby, when she forgets all her sufferings and enjoys a fresh beginning.
Both the mother and child share a new life, though she must have given birth to a dozen babes earlier, which was quite common in earlier days.
When the child goes to school, a new world of friends beckon him and love is slowly transferred from home to the outside world.
During young age, youth get different interests like sports, reading, travelling, painting etc. The nature of love changes, but it still remains the motivating force.
Marriage and love are not sufficient for many people. Some want to amass wealth; others want fame and power and are ready to go to war, to achieve their aim.
In old age,love has ceased to be a force. It is just a pleasant experience.
There is a saying: you are as old as you feel!
Then, I am in my teens, ready to fall in love!

SUNDAY IS THE BEST TIME FOR TRAVEL =’text/javascript’ src=

All business establishments and Government Offices remain closed and so there is no rush in trains and buses.
Yesterday when I went to see my aged friend at Tripunithura, I enjoyed the journey, which I hate otherwise, because, without a car, journey at my age is really tiresome.
On my return by Lokamanya Netravaty Expree, which is non-stop from Ernakulam to Trichur, I was surprised to see it stop at Divine city near Chalakkudy, which is a much touted prayer centre for Christians.
Hardly a few people got down there. The stop is uncalled for because local trains stop there and the place is well connected by bus service.
A super fast train should not stop there.

REGULAR INTAKE OF MILK AND MILK PRODUCTS REDUCES BODY WEIGHT =’text/javascript’ src=

Milk and its derivatives are the most nutritious food.
One can live on these, supplemented by fruits, fish, eggs, meat and green vegetables.
A recent research reported that, people who regularly took milk, actually shed extra body mass!
This is contrary to what doctors used to advise, about the necessity of avoiding full cream milk.

A NEW CONCEPT IN NEWSPAPER INDUSRTY =’text/javascript’ src=

There is a fear that the e-newspapers will reduce the circulation of printed newspapers, which have become less profitable, with considerable increase in costs and overhead expenses.
I thought of introducing a new concept, of the readers owning the publication.
I am now selling shares, priced Rs. ten only, so that the lower strata of society too can own the paper. So far, the response is miraculously enthusiastic, because the intelligentsia want something interesting to read.
On October 2, which is a National Holiday on account of Gandhi Jayanti, I have invited all my share holders for a meeting, at my newly constructed house.
There will be such get together every three months, when families will come to know of one another.
For the time being the paper will be in Malayalam. If my experiment is successful, I shall begin simultaneous edition in Hindi.

HACKERS ARE HAVING A FIELD DAY – YOUR PASSWORD IS NOT SAFE =’text/javascript’ src=

Recently, top secret military strategic notes about the Afghan war, were stolen by hackers and displayed in a web site!
My Yahoo mail and recently, Gmail pass words were hacked and I was forced to block it.
Actually there is no secrecy about anything in the net world; and one has t take all precautions like changing the pass word frequently.
Military secrets should not be posted in the net world. Good old paper and type writer is better from the point of safety.
Then there are spasms.
Occasionally some one congratulates me for winning lottery. At other times, beautiful damsels send me love letters.
Many people are put to great loss by such messages, about which we read in the newspapers.
Forward such messages to cyber crime branch in Bombay.
Then virus is a day to day problem.
On the whole, the virtual world is not a paradise!

LET US PRAY FOR THE BLEEDING KASHMIR =’text/javascript’ src=’

I sincerely hope that some good results will come out of the all party delegation, now in Kashmir.
LET US PRAY FOR PEACE IN KASHMIR !!!

I SAW A MAN GETTING OFF A FAST MOVING TRAIN =’text/javascript’ src=’

It happened long ago, when we were young.

I was working in Railway Audit Office at Kota, RAJASTHAN. THERE WERE NO THROUGH TRAINS THEN. We had to go to Madras and then travel by a superfast train bound for Delhi. To catch the train, a shuttle running between Kota and Bina, we had to get down at Bina at the odd our at 2.30 in the morning.
We used to keep awake at least for two hours, right from Bhopal, before reaching Bina, where the train stops only for two minutes. We will always carry sac-ful of coconuts etc.
I saw a man getting down the steps of the coach and lie on the last step, long before the station arrived. He then rolled over and fell on to the side of the track and quietly walked off….

BATTERY OPERATED MOPEDS ARE THE CHEAPEST OPTION =’text/javascript’ src=

I was surprised to learn that battery operated scooters are available at less than Rs. 33000.
It looks like ordinary two wheelers in size and shape.
The battery is fully charged with just one unit of electricity. It can then run for 65 KM.
Two people can sit and the carrying capacity is 130 KG.
The speed is maximum 25 KM.
No necessity for licence etc. Just buy it and drive home!
As it is pollution free and saves petrol, wide publicity must be given to it.

BIG FRAUD IN RAILWAY PURCHASES =’text/javascript’ src=

A TV news channel has brought to light, a letter written by a Railway official, dealing with purchase of items for manufacture and maintenance of AC coaches, to the Railway Minister, in October last.
According to him, some selected firms were chosen for supplying these items. These suppliers bought the items and sold it to the Railways at two hundred times the real price.
The annual loss to the Railways is estimated at four thousand crore rupees.
No action has been taken by the Minister, so far.