CWG JOKES IN EMAIL CIRUIT =’text/javascript’ src=

Best one!! >>> Delhi badnaam hui darling tere liye! Sadkein bhi jam hui, CWG tere liye

1) BREAKING NEWS: Suresh Kamadi just tried to hang himself in the CWG stadium. But the ceiling collapsed

2) The truth behind bulk sms banning is to stop kalmadi jokes and not Ayodhya

3) Look at the brighter side; the more countries pull out, the higher India is ranked in the final medal’s tally.

4) Terrorists set to skip CWG 2010 citing unlivable conditions and fear for their safety.

5) Q: How many contractors are required to change a light bulb in Delhi CWG stadium?
A: 1 Million. (1 to change bulb and rest 999,999 to hold the ceiling)

6) Whats common between CWG committee and students???
Ans: both start their preparations at the 11th hour…..

7) Prince Charles is actively convincing the Queen to visit dengue hit Delhi , this may be his last chance to become the king!

8) Thanks to Guernsey and Jersey for threatening to pull out of games! We now know these countries existed!

9) Ek waqt aisa aayega, kalmadi bhi sharmayega

10) A collapse a day keeps the athletes away

11) Ba ba Kalmadi, have you any shame. No sir, No sir, we are having a Common Loot Game. Crores for my partner, crores for the dame, crores for me too, for spoiling India ‘s name!

12) AMAZING BUT TRUE: If you re-arrange the letters “Sir U made lakhs” you get “SURESH KALMADI

13) Next edition of CWG will be called KWG, Kalmadi Wealth Games

or

Congress Wealth Games!!!???!!!!

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LOVE IS THE ETERNAL FORCE THAT PROPELS LIFE FORWARD =’text/javascript’ src=

The maternal instinct is the noblest of all sentiments.
All the nine months she carries the baby inside her body, she has only one thought- about the baby. She suffers the birth pangs, to see the face of the new born baby, when she forgets all her sufferings and enjoys a fresh beginning.
Both the mother and child share a new life, though she must have given birth to a dozen babes earlier, which was quite common in earlier days.
When the child goes to school, a new world of friends beckon him and love is slowly transferred from home to the outside world.
During young age, youth get different interests like sports, reading, travelling, painting etc. The nature of love changes, but it still remains the motivating force.
Marriage and love are not sufficient for many people. Some want to amass wealth; others want fame and power and are ready to go to war, to achieve their aim.
In old age,love has ceased to be a force. It is just a pleasant experience.
There is a saying: you are as old as you feel!
Then, I am in my teens, ready to fall in love!

MUTHUKURSSIMANA, MY WIFE HOUSE

Once upon a time, Muthukurssi mana was a very wealthy family, owning the whole land between the Bharathapuzha river and the railway yard. The home was at the site of the presnt loco shed.

 There was an elephant, a symbal of affluence then. And now also the new rich are crazy about the elephants

 When the South Indian Railwy, a private company owned by British people, bought it, the building was dismantled and reconstructed at the present site. The hill, earlier known as Muthukurssi hill, became railway property and they built quarters there. Now it is Ganeshgiri.
The bungalow at the top was prominent in the film Julie, which was shot there.
My wife’s grandfather’s younger brother was adopted by Mundanat  Mana family and he managed to transfer the wealth to his new home;  something like that happened.

 My father-inn-law had seen the worst days, doing pooja in different temples, including the famous Ambalapuzha Krishna temple.
His one sister, who was married very late, shared the brunt of poverty. She is still alive and very cheerful, now living with her son Kollumuttathu Narayanan, at Manisseri.
My wife was put in a convent school at Shoranur. She will return home, crossing the rail line, take bath in the pond and then only have something to eat. On Mondays, she will go to Mahadevamangalam, on the bank of the river, for prayer to get a good husband and return home, almost running, before taking food.
She had seen family bickerings, almost all the time between uncles and her father; so fed up was she, that it was her wish to be a nun !

Her step sister, by father’s second wife, only fifteen years her senior, was married off to Puliyannur mana, tantry at Shreekrishna temple at Tripunithura (Poornathrayeesan). Then her father began trying for a namboodiri for her also.

Santa, my cousin, was already there, having married Sankaranarayanan. She suggested my name.

She was hardly eighteen, too innocent to think of marriege, when a cruel fate and a society that allows no freedom to a girl child, threw her into my hands.

Her father was a workaholic. He spends his time plucking flowers for pooja, collecting areca nuts and coconuts in the big orchard or  cutting grass that grow too fast. One day he fell into a well and had to shout for help, as no one was around.

As soon as the rainy season arrives, he will go out with a spade in hand,digging here and there, and sowing or planting vegetables like colocasia, brinjal, ladies’ finger and, of course, tapyoka. Santa says, in those days they never bought anything from the market, a mile away at Shoranur. My wife inherited this quality from him. Even today, her dream is to have some land and grow vegetables.

Her father got infection from the slush. Worms began  coming out of the foot. He was admitted in Valluvanad Hospital, where they, thoughtlessly, injected large dozes of antibiotics. He was nearing ninety and I think medicines killed him. His system was quite sound and healthy. No one will die of foot sore.

When they were rich, father-in law married from Tekkedath Patteri mana, a wealthy family, whose ancestors belonged to Vadakkancherry area in Cochin State.
It is said that they helped the Raja of Travancore, in conqering the Kingdom of Alapuzha; in return, they were given property in Kodamalur.
Mother-in-law named Parvathy had gold ornaments. Among us namboodiries, women folk did not wear gold ornaments. They wore bronze necklaces and bangles.
This created tensions between our branch and the rest of the Muthurssi clan.
 Mother-in- law remained for long periods in her home and shorter periods at Guruvayoor, where Radha, my wife accopanied her, before her marriage.

 My first visit to that famous shrine was immediately after marriage.
It was very quiet then and we made several rounds (pradakshinam), every time standing before the deity and praying. I don’t remember what were my prayers. My world was my wife. She being so near, what else do I need?

Our annual pilgrimage to Guruvayoor continued till I retired. Radha’s sister Parvathy and step sister Nalini who were  in their teenns at the time of my marriage, always accompanied us.During our last visit in 2007 or so, I was so disgusted and tired, standing in the que and then pushed off as soon as I came in front of the sanctum, that I decided to  stop this meaningless suffering.

CHILD MARRIAGES IN RAJASTHAN

We are shocked to read about child marriages taking place on a mass scale in Rajasthan. The childeren are in the age group 3 to 15.

The truth is that it is a ritual marriage. The children remain with the parents till they mature.

The whole state is still backward. Camels and sheep form the main source of wealth. So the real function of women, is looking after the home. They are uneducated.  Therefore, judging things by our standards, is both foolish and futile.

The British Raj did not ban sati, which was prevalent in the North India, even though the practice was shocking and revolting in the exteme ( The condition of the widow is more miserable; sati is mercy killing. The pain is only for a few moments). Only after sufficient public opinion, at least among the educated elite, was created, did they bring legislation. The widows are languishing in Nari Niketan and Ashrams. The role of Raja Ram Mohan Roy has been exaggerated; he happened to be in England and did the work of canvassing for legislation.

I do not find anything wrong in child marriage; educate the girl child and she will say NO to it.

AD 1009, THEN AND NOW (From my book CHILDHOOD MEMOIRS)

Yes, exactly a millennium ago.

 Then the whole Indian subcontinent was a conglomeration of small kingdoms. We belonged to a small one, may be the size of Delhi. It was independent, wedged between two powerful neighbors: the Samoothiripad in the North and some principality belonging to the area, now known as Thiruvithankur (Travancore). Our Cochin state was free from corruption. People were generally happy. One English writer described the India of those times as ‘thousands of villages’, each a republic governed by the village elders. None had money. Gold was used only for making ornaments. Wealth was measured in terms of paddy earned by each family (I am talking in terms known to me). The artisans made clothes, agricultural implements, gold ornaments; made tenements out of mud and hay or palm leaves (cobbler was unknown  as none wore foot wear). Brass and bronze works were excellent, as also wood work. Landlords enjoyed leisure and bonded laborers did the work. The latter were fed even when there was no work. All people were known to each other. Even in my childhood, thefts were limited to coconut and plantain! There was plenty of time for any leisurely activity like literature, sports and arts.

 All were happy, even though epidemics took a heavy toll of men but not animals.

Let us examine, item by item, how life was then and what we have achieved now.

1)      Life was secure then. None was worried about his future. Mostly, traditional vocations were followed, the society being caste-ridden. How will my children live after my time? The question never worried any body. Anxiety on this account was unknown then. Today, every moment we are concerned about it (of course, I am not talking about the Ambanis)

2)      All works were done manually. This kept life style diseases away. People were healthy. The rich people suffered from diabetes, B.P and heart attacks. The poor people were spared. Today, the middle class too have become rich as far as life style is concerned. We don’t exert. Remote control ensured that we need not even move. So we suffer from all diseases of the rich.

3)      The vaidyaji took care of health problems. I don’t remember ever going to a doctor. The Namboodri house stood in the middle of a spacious plot of land. We had our own well and at least one pond. No fencing, we never wounded mother Earth with the pick axe or spade. It was like a forest. Things just grew. Village people scouted for medicinal plants or mangoes in the season. They never asked us. In the month of Karkidagam (Sawan) ladies adorned the hair with “Dashapushpam” (ten flowers). After the land reforms, we too became proletariat, when our only source of earnings was taken away. The land was handed over to the tillers. Today land is fallow because none can afford to grow food. Wages are high and labour is not available in Keralam.

     I have digressed. We were discussing medicine. The vidyaji will only prescribe the medicines. If these cannot be had from the land, there is a shop selling them. Medicines, in soup form, were made at home. People may give some gift like plantain. The belief is that if vidyaji demands compensation, he will lose his ability to diagnose and treat the illness.

 When the people of the West were barbarians (say B.C1000) Ayurvedic system of medicine was well developed in India. At Rajgir in Bihar, I was shown the excavated remains of a hospital where the royal families were treated. Even today Ayurveda can hold its head high in certain fields. But the sanctity of the system was violated when it was commercialized. Now, medicinal soups are bottled and preserved, rendering them sometimes ineffective.

 Today, medical treatment is nothing but shameless exploitation of the masses. Multi speciality hospitals cater to the rich. The poor people survive by grace of God. 50% of the medicines sold in the market are absolutely useless. (It was in the newspapers.) All medicines have side effects. Fees must be deposited in advance (pity the vidyaji). As doctors are “manufactured” in thousands, who can guarantee their quality? (Merit is ignored; caste is the basis for selection of students). Each hospital should earn profit. Or else, it will be closed down. So it must be ensured that people fall ill, as frequently as possible. As soon as a baby is born it is given ten injections, to make sure that its immunity system doesn’t develop. The bird flu was unknown then. Today also desi chickens are not affected. Artificial methods have destroyed the capacity to resist diseases.

 To make people fall ill, fast food culture is deliberately encouraged. To the capitalist, a patient is also a consumer. The only aim is profit. To hell with health! We want every citizen to be in the hospital so that profit can swell.

4) Education was totally free of lucre then. I was thrilled to see rows of neatly made hostel rooms at Nalanda which was just a name until Sir Alexander Cunningham traveled in the foot steps of Huen Tsang and saw small hills covered with grass and shrubs. He suggested excavation of the area which was started in 1914. Even today, a few work men may be seen digging leisurely; it may take another hundred years at this rate, to uncover the whole township. More than four hundred years B.C, it was a beacon of learning, attracting scholars from all over the East. They did not come to get a degree and campus selection for lucrative jobs. They just wanted to learn. Among them was a young man. No body knew he was a prince. He came in tattered clothes and was emaciated like a beggar, after wandering in the forest, begging for food. His name was Gautama. He spent several years in the campus, endlessly discussing the causes of pain and misery and suffering of human beings. (At Bodh Gaya, he is depicted as  well fed and handsome- a real prince charming. His devotees want something pleasing to the eye). I admire him. I like to see Takshashila too!

 In the villages, education was the concern of guruji. There was close, personal relation- ship with Guruji and the students who stay with him. Remember the story of Krishna and Sudama who were ordered by guru patni (wife) to fetch fuel from the forest? (I am reminded of an incident I read in a memoir. An English lady accepts an assignment to teach English to the Crown Prince of Japan. She was going through some notes when she wanted the fan to be switched on. She asked the Prince and failed to understand the hesitation in her pupil’s face. Suddenly the realization came. How can anybody give orders to a Prince? Of course, the pupil obeyed.) No tuition fee.  In the end, some guru dakshina (gift) is given. That is all.

 And today? By any stretch of imagination, can you call it education? True learning should aim at liberating the brain power from the shackles of the body, so it can soar higher and higher towards the heaven, scanning the whole universe and beyond. The questions why and how should continuously and intensely torment the inquisitive mind. Learning is tapasya. (Concentrated study). Total detachment from the worldly chores is an absolute must.

 In the present system, children are being hypnotized to believe that every thing written in the text book is absolutely true. The only aim is to secure maximum marks in the examination, by hook or by crook. Whether you like a subject is immaterial. Money is the supreme god. (Lakshmi is worshiped by all, everywhere. Is there a single temple of Saraswati? I think there is one in Keralam) The best brains are hijacked by capitalism and enslaved to make more and more profit. Is there any wonder that educational standards are going down every year?

 In Russia, when capitalism was abolished in 1917, education became free. Science was made number one priority. (Here MBA is made much of because capitalists want them to work for profit).The results are there, for all to see. From the most backward state in Europe, Russia overtook the US in space research. The first man to go up in space was

a Russian. Production of electricity was taken up as the most urgent task. Heavy industry almost outpaced consumer industry. (Indian students who went to study in Moscow found soaps and blades stolen frequently).The all powerful Germans were defeated by Russians in second world war.Without heavy industry backed by S & T, this would have been impossible.

After 1956, the first science city was established in Siberia. From wilderness intended for exiling undesirable characters, Siberia became a treasure of coal, minerals etc. and fully industrialised, an achievement impossible under capitalism. Science is the instrument of this of this revolution.

 Today here we find education being converted into a lucrative industry, in which millions are invested to reap huge profits. Government schools are for the poor- no equipments, no teachers, and no books.

Order of preference of students seeking higher education is somewhat as given below:

 MBA

IIT

Medicine

Info technology

Commerce

Economics

Geology

Pure science

Geography

 Those who fail to get admission for the coveted courses, go for pure sciences. In communist Russia scientists were given maximum salary. They commanded great influence in decision making. Here in Delhi we do not have a science centre where those interested may gather together for a chitchat. Easy access to science literature is a must.

Many of you may think that modern science originated in the west. This is a total misconception .Some of the things our forefathers have recorded in so many words, are stunningly dazzling.

1) That the earth is a globe

2) Earth attracts objects towards itself

3) Earth is rotating: the sun and stars are stationary

4) Shadow of the earth is cause of lunar eclipse

5) Dalton’s atomic theory

6) that the foetus in the womb recognizes sounds and starts learning mother tongue, much before it comes out of the woumb.(Abhimanyu learned strategy of warfare, while still in Uthara’s woumb, according to Mahabharatam.I first read about it in Bhagawat puran.By sheer coincidence, actual scientific confirmation was reported in the newspapers at that period some 8 years back).

These are just a few instances. As all this is written in Samskrutam. People do not even know about it. It is a pity that we have to learn about such things from foreign sources.

Astronomy originated in India at least 5000 years ago. In Egypt too studies in this field progressed at that time. The Malayalam calendar came into existence 1184 years ago. It is based on the movement of the Sun around the equator .The number of days of each month is calculated every year, so that we are not aware of the leap year.

So, before the Malayalam era came into existence, how did they know their age? Each year was given a name. Only 60 years were given names; thereafter the names are repeated.

Each one  must remember the name of the month and Nakshatra (the name given to the group of stars where the Moon appears each day) and also the name of the year of birth , so that his age can be counted. (Like the week. If I am born on Wednesday my age will be the fourth day.) That is why sixtieth birthday is celebrated. The names of the years are repeated, after 60 years.

Two thousand years ago, an European was unable to tell his age. Intellectually, we were far ahead. The Nalanda Vishvavidyala and library were ransacked and burnt by Muslim invaders sometime in fifteenth century. That was the end of a civilization. Knowledge got fossilized in Samskrutam texts to be explored by European Indologists. If these books were available in Hindi or Dravidian languages, history would have been different.

5) Production of food grains, cloths, agricultural implements, kitchen utensils etc. was regulated according to the needs of the village.Transportation was restricted to the bare

minimum. I am not a historian. Perhaps conveyance was restricted to movement of goods.Today production is chaotic. In any society based on rational lines, the requirements will be calculated and production regulated according to the needs. In a market controlled economy, waste is inevitable. Any number of factories are producing cars. Think of the brain power used in designing. If all this is centalised (in this age it is easy) we can have the best model of cars, buses etc. Expenses on advertisement and sales can be saved. Cars will become cheap. Similarly food and other agricultural products can be produced according to requirement.There will be no shortages nor glut. Why can’t we do it? (See my article: Man is the most foolish animal in the world).

6) For sheer joy and entertainment people were engaged in cultural and sports activities. Competition was healthy and without rancour.

Today, what we saw in the cricket world is the influence of money. Before future historians, we will have to hang our head in shame!

Local festivals, drama , music etc were meant for healthy entertainment and people were not glued to their TV sets !

I don’t want to go back to AD 1008. At the same time, I want to change the system to be reorganized along rational lines. Are we not intelligent creatures?