Acchan left us on March 13, 2016.

Adieu dad… my hero, my star!

With utmost sadness I write to announce my father’s “waterfriends” and his “facebook” friends about his demise. He died on March 13th from a massive heart attack. It was a usual day for him. After having bath and the temple visit, followed by breakfast with mom, he then left home at 6.30 am to catch a 7 am bus. He told my mom that he is going to meet my cousin sister Usha and also to sell his books. Upon reaching bus stand he felt uncomfortable and approached the nearest house and asked them to call my brother. He was taken to the Mothers Hospital in Trissure where he took his last breath at 8.15 am.

That Sunday morning I received a call from my brother in law. Having spoken to him the night before I wondered why is he calling me so early. My heart skipped a beat as I attended the call. The call was to say that my father is no more. I didn’t know how to react and what to say. The earth beneath me had shifted and my world torn apart!

I knew my father for his ever optimistic disposition. He had a penchant for happiness. He used to say happiness and agony are manifestation of ones thoughts, it’s just measured differently. His indomitable spirt and his bold unfettered thinking gave him his identity. Till the last day of his life he did what he liked doing the most and making the most out of his 83 years of life! A guide, a philosopher, a blogger, a mentor, he was a remarkable human being was the kindest soul I have ever known.

I was desperate to reach home to see my father for the last time and to say our good byes. The news knocked ever corner of my emotion for a toss. The journey home seemed far too long…it took approximately 32 hours to reach home. My elder daughter who just turned 16 took charge of the situation. She kept consoling me throughout the journey saying that Nanu (her grandfather) is going to be with us all our lives. It’s just that he has left his physical presence and that he will live in our memories forever. Suddenly my teen daughter seemed to have got the sprout of growth and was behaving so maturely.

A leap of memories and I reach a time of my life that remodelled my future. I remember an incident from my childhood. I must have been hardly 6 or 7 years when I burnt my palm in a freak accident. While attempting to switch off a cooking heather in the kitchen, the plug cover came apart and my left hand touched the naked wires. I got an electric shock and the jolt knocked me down to the ground with full force. Hearing the thud my father rushed to the kitchen. I was wearing lot of bangles. My father took his handkerchief and tied it on my wrist to avoid brushing it against my skin. He borrowed a cycle from our neighbour and made me sit on the front seat and off we drove to the nearest hospital. It’s still itched vividly in my memories, the gentle breeze stroking my hair, the heavy breathing of my father, the commotion of the causality section of the hospital. What amazed me most was my father’s reaction. I had not seen him so active and agile. That was the first and the last time I saw my father ride a bicycle. I hailed him a hero then and ever since he remains my hero!

Finally I reached home on 14th night, ending the journey of thoughts and into the real world to face the harsh reality, the death of my father. At the airport, my husband (who had to cut short his Germany visit had reached home before me) and my brother came to receive us. My brother recollected what happened to our father in the last hour of his life. My brother seemed composed, he has not cried at all. I told him it’s okay to let go of your emotions, don’t hold it back. I am worried for him. As I reached home, my sister was waiting in the veranda for me. She was visibly shaken and as I hugged her, she broke down and cried inconsolably. Inside home, I met my mom who was sitting along with other relatives. My mom who is taller than me and always provides me protection, is now a frail soul as she lost oodles of weight coz of her illness. It is now our turn to provide her the care and support that she always showered on us. As I wrapped her in my arms, she whispered in my ears that my dad left her alone. Those words pierced my emotions deep and I felt helpless for the first time. That night at home was too long and too painful. I was eager to see acchan (that’s what we called him in Malayalam) one last time. The wait was unbearable.

He was brought home at around 10.30 am the next morning and he was there for at least an hour for people to pay their final homage and to perform last rights. I was hoping for a miracle, I was wanting to talk to him for one last time. He looked so calm as if he was sleeping. I told him that if there is a concept of rebirth, I want him to be my father each time I take a birth. I did not want to lose sight of him and objected to covering his face. The cremation took place within the compounds of our home as per the tradition and rituals of our society. Damodaran etten (my sister’s husband), my husband Ravi, my sister Sudha, my niece Meghna, my brother Sudhir and my daughters, all worked to their fullest capacities for the next 12 days, meeting the visitors, taking charge of the household chores, caring for mother and spending time with each other reminiscent about our happy time with acchan.

During his work life as a railway officer for the Northern Railway and in the Nuclear Power Corporation of India, my father was known for his honesty, dedication and diligence. After retirement, he took up a brief stint with Konkan railways before relinquishing his office job. He got busier later in this life as he took up some research work and worked on a wide range of topics, including his take on climate change, hydrology, plant physiology (photosynthesis etc), politics and much more. He started blogging at the age of 70. When most people want to retire from life, he was out playing his next innings. Without any prior knowledge of computers, he took up the challenge of learning computers. With a bit of trick and tips from all of us, he started using computers with ease in no time. He enjoyed this creative phase of his life and went on to create his own blog called waterfriends. He kept testing his potential and started adding new skills and adopting new platforms to air his opinions, be it twitter, facebook, linked in….he conquered it all! He remained an active blogger till the end of his life. His last post was three days before this death. It was about my mom whom he loved dearly. I wish to keep his blog https://waterfriend.wordpress.comhttps://waterfriend.wordpress.com alive! I haven’t given it a thought how, but I want to keep it going…just like him.

I won’t have anyone to call acchan now but his blessings are always going to be with me. I am sad that I would not be able to see him anymore, but he is there with me forever in my heart! Life throws catastrophic events to shape things up and this is the first major stir of life! A friend of mine said to me that I should not consider this as a loss, rather it is a gain! Dropping into the abyss of my memory, I do intend to pen my journey with my acchan.

RIP Acchan!
Yours loving daughter
Leena